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Strong Back, Soft Heart
Seasons shifting, perspectives changing
This phrase may be familiar to you: Strong Back, Soft Heart. Or maybe Steady Spine, Open Heart? Or any other variation...
It's one of my favorites and hearing it again in a recent workshop brought it forward in my mind. The co-leaders shared it as an appropriate expression for the shifting seasons. We see, sense, smell, hear the seasonal changes. Nature is showing it: browning seed heads, colors shifting from flowers to tree leaves, dried out lawns and tattered blooms. We too may be showing it: more layers to stay warm or peel off in the midday, light leaving earlier in the evening & coming later in the morning, students/teachers back in school or new projects started.
Pause now for a moment to notice the shifting seasons.
Pause to see how your perspective may be changing: following along with our surroundings.
Pause as you are reading this:
On an inhale lengthen your spine, feeling it grow from the tail bone and stretch up to the crown of your head.
Pause and breath intentionally, in and
out in equal counts, feeling this strong back support you
Pause and breath, this time with one hand or both stacked on your heart center, lighten your shoulders, let the jaw muscles release, open up the chest and lift the chin slightly. Keep breathing.
On August 31st the poet Wendell Berry died at age 92. These few poems circulated quite a bit at the time but he has an incredible body of work, much about the seasons, nature and everyday life. Something in each of these reminds me to have a strong back and soft heart.
Take a moment to read them aloud ––what comes up for you?
Heart openers for seasonal displacement
This time of year, this month in particular, holds some hard anniversaries for me. No matter how aware I am of the upcoming dates, each year the "shifting season" somehow catches me unprepared, a hard, quick earthquake jolt. Just a mild and momentary loss of balance as opposed to the avalanches that roared through and over me in other years, burying me under a thick layer of grief.
In grief we feel a need to protect our hearts, a curling in toward the front body, without even being conscious of that posture. Our backs round and our heads drop forward, we cross our arms or hug our body without realizing it. Yoga can help soften our hearts––poses that intentionally open us across the chest muscles, the arms and shoulders, releasing the constriction that can seem ever present.
I choose to practice and teach "heart openers," yes, with specific yoga poses but other things too. More poetry, more walking, more connecting and conversations, music and books, consuming less media, and seeing more artwork. Using these other activities to displace a tightness in my chest brings nourishment to my heart, a heart that feels more tender this season. This is where I put my energy––endeavoring to open a heart that grieves a little more deeply this time of year.
Note: If you are curious about heart openers, come to one of my regular Monday or Wednesday classes at Sellwood Yoga, we often practice them.
A changed perspective
Being intentional with how I approach my grief over the past few years has changed my perspective. If you look at some of my prior posts it comes through quite clearly that the practice and study of yoga and meditation are primary helpers for me. Restorative yoga and yoga nidra are specific modalities that I also find deeply healing.
But there's also poetry and I have written about the language of poetry, not only as a connection to my mother but as a way to express emotions and feelings we cannot find words for when deep in grief.
For the past year I have been attending sound baths as a student observer to my teacher Laura Li Fong Yee. I completed a crystal bowl sound bath training with her last October. Fabulous experience and highly recommend it!
Helping others
Since 2025 I have been leading Yoga for Grief workshops in a few formats. The initial sessions were co-led with Monica Welty (amazing massage therapist!), and we integrated our modalities of yoga, massage, writing, open sharing and poetry. We were dedicated to these sessions and they proved successful but not sustainable.
Then I pivoted to leading a different style of workshops in late 2025 through to this past Spring, keeping the movement and poetry but incorporating more restorative poses. However, I no longer offered the journaling portion nor the open sharing portion. It wasn't feasible to support those aspects fully on my own.
After a break for Summer, I am again offering Yoga for Grief workshops, adding in a sound bath session to the end of each class. There is no open sharing option for participants, although I am always open to listening at another time or via email or text, always in strict confidence.
In this new format, Yoga for Grief workshops are now offered on the second Sundays for the remainder of 2026 (October 11, November 8 and December 13) from 3:30-5:30. During class I will offer yoga, meditation, poetry and restorative poses. Plus, at the conclusion of class I'll be using crystal bowls and a few other sound instruments, hoping to bring you a deeper rest and reset. The workshop will be offered both in studio at Sellwood Yoga and livestream, although livestream will have a playlist as the sound won't be high enough quality.
Today on the Autumn Equinox (September 22nd, 2026, 5:05 p.m. PDT) I will reflect on the changing season, the shifting of my emotions and the new perspective that comes every year. As we pass into shorter days from now until the Winter Solstice, I will renew my commitment to self-compassion, specifically for how I am grieving and compassion for all that grieve, no matter their loss.
Join me at Sellwood Yoga for one of my upcoming Yoga for Grief workshops by signing up here: Sellwood Yoga Workshops. Any questions about what happens during the session please send me an email or text me. Hope to see you.
